Tiny bit of progress


Yeah! 1/2 down! Yeah me!

My grandmother used to say, “Slow and Steady Wins the Race.”
Of course she’d also said it would be fine if I stuffed my face with her homemade goodies when visited. At that visit, I’d already lost weight and she got pissed at me for not eating all the food she’d prepared. We fought all weekend (that’s another blog entry) so you can’t always be right.
She was right about the slow and steady. Although, I’d rather see much faster weight loss, I am losing about 1 pound a week and I can’t argue with that. In a year, I’ll have reached my goals and be far more healthy than I am now.
Four pounds may not seem like much, but it’s a start, especially when my cardio workouts are at a slow pace because I have trouble with that thing, what’s it called, oh yes, breathing.
For the past year I really felt like giving up, just being that fat woman who hoped to God she never saw anyone she knew in high school. Sounds like a great life doesn’t it. Stressed that you’ll see someone you know at the most inopportuned time like Sea World after you’ve been at the water park all day, your hair is wet and you’ve forgotten to bring a change of clothes so you have to wear your stretched out swimsuit. Another wonderful place is the gym when you’ve just gotten out of the shower and your towel falls off as soon as some recognizes you. Oh, and what about the grocery store when you’ve purchased all healthy foods and they look at you like “yeah right like you’re really eating that. Your ass is huge!”
Ah, memories. How fun that would be to live in a world of denial. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
Honestly, I didn’t want to be that fat woman who’d given up. I didn’t want to be the mom our children were embarassed by or the mom who’s worried about embarassing her family.  
Life is too fabulous to watch from the sidelines, plus, in all honesty, I don’t want to be the fat mom.
At the school where our older (and fabulous) child attends, I feel a bit like an outsider. No one is mean or ugly to me. They are lovely women and have never excluded me from anything at PTA meetings. No one has been cruel or said anything to do with my weight. In fact, every mom and dad I have met could not be nicer.
It’s all me. I feel like (and see) that I’m the only one with a weight problem. Now, I know there are other moms and dads with weight issues and I’m sure of the women I see, many feel they have weight problem, but I can honestly say I am in a minority when it comes to being heavy, which is amazing considering the national average.
I have no idea if all those women have their acts together and maybe they’ve prioritized better than I, making sure they get their daily workouts in, I don’t know. But I do feel  a bit uncomfortable sometimes at PTA meetings or class parties when I show up and everyone else seems to look far better and put together than I.
No I’m not giving myself a pity party because if I were, I certainly wouldn’t be writing it for all the world to see. That’s just annoying when some cries about how life is so hard and they can’t make changes while they continue down the road where they are miserable. I know I’m moving forward, small steps at a time, but change is changing everything and it’s so much to consider.
On another note, it’s amazing how much support I’ve received from everyone who’s reading this. I’m truly touched and I appreciate everyone’s kind words.
Slow and steady wins the race and believe me, I will.

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