I hate asthma

It’s a rough day here at my house.
My sweet husband is trying to make it a nice day before Valentine’s Sunday and I was up all night with asthma problems. All these cold fronts and drastic weather changes along with my underlying sinus issues has caused all sorts of respiratory chaos this weekend. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep and ended up cancelling on my pilates reformer class this morning. I hate that.
Yesterday, during our walk with the dogs, I felt breathless. Geez, I only walked a mile and I felt I’d run uphill the entire time. I’ll be so glad whent he weather stabilizes and I’ve got my sinus crap under control.
When I entered the Mamavation challenge, I was sure I’d be able to kick it hard on the elliptical and shed the weight without problems.  I had the proper motivation and all these people out there supporting me. NOt only did I have motivation, but an audience cheering me on.
No pressure, right?
Now I’m finding this challenge is far more than I anticipated. Roadblocks, asthma attacks, good days, bad days, Valentine’s Candy and Girl Scout Cookies all throw their part in the path of succees. I do get very frustrated on days like today and when things like this occur, I want to say, “To hell with it, I’m eating what I want. I deserve it because I feel like crap.” Of course, I didn’t this time, which is amazing in itself, but still, the frustration lays there, waiting to trigger a pig-out fest. 
Yet, I don’t find that I’m upset or frantic about it all. Usually, this kind of thing would set me off and I’d starting eating everything in sight, telling myself it’s alright because I’ll start over tomorrow.
Not this time.
This time, I took a deep breath (when I could) and I simply kept moving, although not as much as I’d like, moving still. Moving away from bad habits, moving away from bad ideas, and moving away from the thought that I would never be able to even begin this health change.
I know when I get on the scale tomorrow, I’ll probably be about the same as last week. Overnight, I won’t lose 5 pounds like I’d hoped, but I will still be on the plan to keep moving forward, despite the obstacles and frustrations.
What’s the saying, “Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work,” (Booker T. Washington)?
Although I find days like this annoying, I know they are necessary for this process. Even though they suck, they are important to keep me in perspective that this isn’t a quick trip, but one that will help me live a better life.


One thought on “I hate asthma

  1. Greta says:

    Hey sweetie. I know it can be hard to do this and there are so many things that go through our heads and we struggle with ourselves. It’s good to get that all down on paper so you don’t have to keep thinking about it and so you can get some clarity.

    Hang in there. I have asthma too and it just sucks royally.

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