Putting myself out there

Here it is– me putting myself totally out there for the world to see.
I’ve entered a contest on Mamavation where I compete with other mommies to earn the right to participate in a seven week health challenge. The winner gets prizes and simply the pride she’s lost some time ago.
For about 10 days, I fought my ego on wheter or not to enter the contest. My plan would be to write down all the down and dirty of my weight/health/goals and honestly, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to do that. Mainly, I didn’t want to admit to myself just how far I’d let myself sink. I knew I’d allowed myself to gain weight, but to actually know I weigh as much as professional althletes who are 8-12+ inches taller than I, well, I’d much rather stay in the land of denial than change.
Then I decided 2011 would be different in many ways. I’ve allowed my ego, my fears hold me back and not even try. I didn’t used to. I used to be fearless and then I made some life choices that didn’t work out all that great for me. I curled up in a ball and waited for the world to go by for years. I still worked, I was still productive, but I didn’t participate in the world like I should have. I wasn’t proactive and I found myself in a very familiar situation last week when I couldn’t decide if I wanted to take charge or not.
But I faced my fears and started small. I only wrote down what I’d say and that lead to me practicing what I’d tell people, then it moved to recording myself and sending my video in.
Now I’ve finaled and the excitement of the possibility of participating in this competition is far more than the fear or the “oh shit what have I gotten myself into” moment.
It would be so easy for me to run and hide, but quite honestly, I’m ready for the change.


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